Sunday 29 June 2008

Life is a gift

Picture with thanks from : onyangooloo.blogspot.com

Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone whose life ended too early.

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.

==========================

Friday 27 June 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.




HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL THE JUNE BABIES....YOUNG AND OLD





Saturday 21 June 2008

MUMMY LOVES YOU, SON

I have a son, and we share the same birth date.
Come June 27 next week, we will be celebrating our 43 and 17 years old together.

Lately we have been having a lot of disagreements.
I found him skipping tuition classes. That made me very sad.
He ate out a lot during tuition break. And that furious me. Cause he falls sick after eating all the murtabak, roti canai and fried rice stuff from the mamak stall.
The nightmare of seeing him lying sick in SJMC after the denggi attack last February is still haunting me.
To me, he has yet to fully recover after the six packets of blood transfusion. He is still not strong physically and he has to face SPM coming November.

I want to put him into a place where he can build up himself from the wrong attitudes in life, like extreme laziness and couldn't be bothered about anything else in life. His life is about facing the computer and playing computer games.

What he has become today is all due to my wrong doings in the past. By having maids around him from small. He doesn't have to lift a finger to do anything. That spoilt him.

I believe character building is more important then anything else after the SPM.

Because I start to get worried everyday of his lfe without me, how can he cope? That is part of the reason why I feel frustrated and disappointed cause I always worried about time is running short...

The last post of mine, "look at our child from a different perspective" was a bull eye to me.
I do not need my son to be a doctor or a lawyer. I just want to make sure that he is healthy enough and keeps a compassionate heart, and most of all, be a responsible man.

Fish has been served on the table for you when you are young. Mama is now teaching you how to fish, son.

And remember, I will always love you. In my eyes, you are a wonderful and charming son. I know you will never fail.

I LOVE YOU, baby

Thursday 19 June 2008

In Memory of those who struck down by cancer





A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle.
Please Keep This Candle Going!



This one, I do ask that you send on.

Thank You!

Monday 16 June 2008

Look at our children from a different perspective

Dear all, I have got this article from an email. It is so good that I have to share it with you who can read Chinese. I am sorry that I do not have the English version...


學習看到孩子的優點

一張白紙上有個黑點,我們通常都是看到那個黑點,這些年透過自己不斷學習,我漸漸看到的是白色的部份。孩子若有85%的優點,15%缺點,大部分的家長都忘記看見他的優點好處.所以,有位心理學家曾過:「孩子需要一個懂得疼惜他的父母

 有個「比馬龍」定律就是:你用什麼眼光看你的孩子,他就會成為那樣的人

 發明電燈的愛迪生,當學校的老師都放棄他,認為他一無可取,把他帶回家交給他媽媽時說:「笨蛋還給你」,愛迪生的媽媽卻對他說:「別人看不起你,媽媽覺得你不錯」。因此看孩子的角度不同,結果就會不一樣,最重要的是讓孩子有自信。

 我曾經在精神病院輔導過一位台大醫科畢業的病人,透過對談瞭解他的成長歷程,發現他從小學到高中從未得過第2名,從中讓我體認到承受高壓力(高處不勝寒)的人容易失敗且敗得很慘!

 其實失敗可以帶給人經驗和閱歷,兩者加起來則形成智慧;我們究竟是要培養孩子成為會讀書的人還是有智慧的人?

培養孩子成為具有智慧(思考.想像.創造力)的人

 會讀書的人,是從對的答案裡作出對的答案(擁有的是記憶力);有智慧的人,是從對的答案裡找出錯的地方,或是從錯的答案裡找到對的地方(擁有的是思考想像創造力

 會思考、會動腦的人可能在學校的表現差強人意,然而記憶無法長久,因為我們的腦總是重複在作記憶和遺忘的工作,許多的答案也隨著時空變化而有不同。現有科學知識在8許多都被新的結果推翻,例如玉山的高度隨著地殼變動而改變,年實際高度都不同;1904年萊特兄弟發明飛行器才開始有「飛」的名詞生;過去速度是低音速,目前是高音速,將來可能是光速.因此,記那麼多東西幹麻?腦袋如果背太多東西,就不可能想很多;若只會背,不會想(思考),腦子就好像被水泥糊起來一樣 曾經有記者問過我,我對孩子的期望是什麼,我不假思索地回答:健康快樂記得愛我

 許多人是用錢養孩子,不是用心;最近自己一直在想:有天我老了,會希望孩子怎麼對我?他們以後會有什麼記憶?會想到爸爸給過他什麼?你想到孩子的又是什麼?我會希望我的孩子能夠想到好多好多,例如:我和兒子是一起騎腳踏車、泡湯、爬山、溯溪的好朋友。然而,有人每天的生活模式是:早上刷牙、洗臉、罵小孩,晚上是吃飯、沐浴、更衣、罵小孩,希望大家和孩子之間不是這樣的朋友。

教育的目的是教他成為一個人

 教育的目的歸要一句話是教他成為一個人。

 我們反省一下自己的生活是這樣嗎:

 1天忙得像豬,天作牛作馬(動物

 2天活得像機器(會動的人.會走路的殭屍,還是年輕的老頭?

 你的偉大的貢獻只是工作嗎?我們讀了那麼多書是為了工作?還是為了生活?很多人生活就是拚命讀書、努力工作、拚命賺錢,最後是養病

 讀書和工作並沒有最直接的關係,並不是很會讀書就會當總經理,它所靠的是能力;生活就是一種能力(耐),讀書和錢只是一個媒介,最終的目的是懂得生活,也可說是為了編織一個夢想,一個活生生的夢,快樂有趣的夢

生命是一種慈悲喜捨

 生命是一種慈悲喜捨,這比讀書更重要,會成為一輩子受用的資,也是現今社會所欠缺的東西。一流的人不慈悲就沒有用,醫生不慈悲,對病患不能視病猶親,就對社會無用;一流的化學家不慈悲,製造毒物來害人就是恐怖分子,也對社會無用

 我有個朋友是醫師,他天開藥時都很掙扎,為了平衡自己,他在開藥的同時,也提供養生資料給病人,希望他們身體健康,下次別再來

 其中有個養生方法是:天天要運動.好好睡個覺.慢慢吃頓飯

 有人一早起來就喝咖啡和茶,難道一早起來還這麼累嗎?不健康的人,脾氣會不好,就不會以身作則。

 最近的詐騙事件頻傳,他們都是很聰明的人,像我就想不出來這種騙術,如果把他們的聰明才智用在正途該有多好。因此,一流未必有用,有用必定一流,希望社會不要充斥著一流而無用的人。

 有用的孩子或許他們很質樸,但他們會像金庸筆下的周伯通般「大智若愚」。

培養孩子的內在智慧

 人有外在智慧與內在智慧,外在智慧指的是成績和分數,內在智慧則指動機(即主動學習的能力)這是孩子將來智慧的源泉,包含慈悲、尊重和理性。 隋文帝至清乾隆總共出了868元,個幾乎都沒有什麼出息;曹雪芹(紅樓夢作者)、李時珍(本草綱目作者)等人都是落第的書生:因為曹雪芹的文思澎湃(思考創意取向)因此無法符合八股的科舉制度(記憶取向

 另外,興趣也很重要(如果沒有興趣作一份工作,很難做一輩子),職業只是努力讀書謀求生活的工作(會想退休);志業則是很喜歡做很開心的工作(永不退休),而慈悲就是一種志業,希望我們能夠培養孩子能以志業的心情去做工作。

教孩子閱讀自己和大自然二本書

 有位哲學家說:教孩子要讀二本書:一本是自己,一本叫做自然。希望孩子能夠用心來閱讀這兩本書,不單用眼睛。

 第一本書讀自己,就是指興趣、性向、能耐,能夠演活自己、演好自己的人生(擁有自身獨特性)。

 有些人是大器晚成者,例如非洲之父史懷哲,他考不上大學,後來是因為拉了一手好手風琴,一位校長破例讓他在該校讀書,他主修歷史,自修文學,30的時候才唸醫科,38畢業。老頑童劉其偉,他有許多頭銜,工程師、人類學家、冒險家、畫家,他在38才開始畫畫,66成名,他的一生活得豐富而精采!因此,有的人是大器,有的人生是柳暗花明又一村,有時路轉個彎會更好,成功需要時間,當累積到很豐富時,成功就會來到,就會水到渠成。

 很多人,小時了了大未必佳,因為他提早將自己的日月精華用光了;如果2就會吊單槓,對他的身體發展會有害處。記得有個長跑選手蒲仲強很早受矚目卻不能長久,有人提早上大學資優生,但他們幾乎沒有童年的生活.例如:有個人12上哈佛大學、16畢業考上普林斯頓研究所,記者問他:你在哈佛最大的經驗是什麼?他回答:除了寂寞,還是寂寞。因此,我們不要用大人的角度來要求孩子,時候到了就會水到渠成,該你的就是你的

 第二本書是大自然,不要只是教孩子看書,要多帶孩子看山看水,看古道幽徑星星月亮,從自然中可以學習到很多書本學不到的東西。例如:颱風來襲時,行道樹東倒西歪,躺下數萬棵,但森林中的樹往往佇立不搖,其中的道理隱在自然的平衡哲學裡,森林的樹枝幹對稱而生,找著最平衡的肌理,於是耐得住風吹雨打,行道樹修修剪剪,則弱不禁風。

 要給孩子一是活路(演活自己人生的路),二是退路,不會讀書硬要他讀書就會成為死路。人活著常常會忘記兩件事呼吸和快樂,因此只要他還存在(有呼吸)就有希望。就如同「失之東瑜,收之桑榆」的意思.

不忘讚美孩子

 讚美可以用最少的力發揮更大的效果,看到孩子的好處,就要去讚美他,他才會演好他自己,孩子會用父母所看到他的好處,演給父母看。例如:我女兒很喜歡烹飪,我讚美她:今天一定有一個仙女來過,不然怎麼會變出這麼好的東西出來?女兒就會越作越起勁。

 每天孩子一回來,我問的不是你在學校學了什麼?而是:有笑話嗎?現在兒子回到家就會對我說:今天有笑話,聽不聽?

 「量力」而行,現在做不到,來日方長,日後有可能做得到,因此不要讓孩子永續的能力失去了,給孩子自信,他就會告訴自己:我行、我能,我再加加油!自己會為自己加油,未來就會有獨領風騷的機會!

 將來的時代是創意取勝的時代,創意就是把兩個不相干的東西結合在一起,例如:WALKMAN就是結合WalkMan的兩個概念而創造出來的;水管是因為澆花的人要澆好幾處不方便而發明的;透明電梯是因為除了上樓梯外,還想看風景的想法而生的

 家長必須要常常聆聽孩子的心聲,當孩子有時候突發奇想時,千萬不要罵他胡思亂想,而是叫他好好再想一想。家長是孩子的推手引領者,如何把孩子珍貴的東西引發出來,並將孩子從幻想世界慢慢導入現實是家長的責任。\

把孩子的體力健康找回來

 如果孩子不健康他所跑的人生是短路不是長路,擁有健康身體能夠讓學習產生1.75倍的效率。

 建議每個家庭建構一個運動時間,我們家是騎腳踏車,兒子稱它為「發現台北的秘密花園」,因為和他們一起騎腳踏車,我發現台北的美,甚至發現住家(木柵)附近特別漂亮的地方和小湖泊。

 你對自己住的地方瞭解嗎?是否能夠讓孩子有美好的回憶?和他們一起去織夢?

和孩子一起編織夢想

 讀者文摘上有個故事:老師告訴小朋友每個人只要捐出5元就能幫助非洲的人鑿一口井。有個小朋友回家跟媽媽要5元,媽媽我們一起做資源回收賺這5元。 後來 老師上次我錯了,鑿一口井應該是5000元,於是那個小朋友號召全班同學一起做資源回收賺錢,加上企業的贊助,最後完成了這個夢想!因此,對不要小看孩子,他們有無限的可能性。希望個父母能幫助孩子圓夢,在日常生活中只要給孩子機會,他們一定可以做得到

 我和孩子一起去溯溪時,原本很擔心他的安全,有次他跑太快,不小心跌倒了,他反而告訴我這裡有窟窿,你要 小心喔!如果不給孩子機會,他的這種特質(關心他人)會出不來!

  我會帶孩子和我去球場,自然而然他很喜歡球類運動,也精通許多球技!也會自己看NBA(主動去學習),有次和一 位年長者比賽他故意比輸,他告訴我他讓他的(會為別人想)

  這世界原本就是風風雨雨,重要的是如何跨越面對風雨,孩子有一天終究會離開學校,還會一個人去面對嚴酷現實的生活;所以要有生命,有夥伴朋友助力,如果擁有這些特質,就會有機會! 讓孩子開心一點,月轉瞬即

這些事不趕快去做,以後就做不到!

Wednesday 4 June 2008

Dare To Believe



Everybody Knows:
You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.

So:
You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.

Then:
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.
And you'll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe:
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

~ Author Unknown